Blogging Frank 507 -cont’d

As we ploughed through Frank Magazine’s issue 507 we came across a piece which made us laugh out loud. With the present state of idiocy we read about which usually makes us sob (rather like Elizabeth May) this was a great relief and worth sharing.

The article was on “The Shane Doan Inquisistion” (-i.e. demanding officials from Hockey Canada be called before an Official Languages Committee to explain Doan’s participation and his
captainship of the team). Frank Grunt wondered why, in Frankland parlance:

…this motion was so readily and so blindly supported by the Conservatives, the Liberals, and the NDP for
no other reason that to kiss Francophone ass in Quebec…

As with much of Frank Magazine the target is not the controversy itself but the response to it. In this case it was a Franklander’s experience e-mailing a passel of NDP MPs to tackle them on Layton’s comment to the press that Doan’s participation in the tournament was an “unfortunate decision” that would “cast a shadow” on Canada’s participation “on the international stage“.

The reply “with the most candour and common sense” came from N-Dipper environment critic Nathan Cullen.

“I have to admit that I watched with horror as politicians got in front of microphones and cameras to criticize the choice of Doan for captain of Team Canada. … I think it was ridiculous for elected officials including some in my party to have a two hour committee meeting on this issue. I don’t support this witch hunt and regret it even happened at all.”

[That’s not the laugh out loud funny part. Patience.] Among the replies the intrepid Frankland grunt received 5 days later was one from Jack Layton.

New Democrats fully support Canada’s national hockey team and like you hope they’ll bring home the medal this year. It is truly regrettable that this controversy has distracted from the World Hockey Championships – everyone needs to keep their sticks on the ice and be focused on bringing home the gold

Then a reply was rec’d by our Frankster from Vancouver North MP Catherine Bell who wrote

New Democrats fully support Canada’s national hockey team and hope they’ll bring back the gold medal this year. It is unfortunate that this controversy has distracted from the Hockey World Championships -everyone needs to keep their sticks on the ice….

Whoa. Deja vue. So, yeah, we chuckled over the copy cat response [BTW Do you think Cullen will last in the party?] but there was a bigger laugh to come.

It was the “reply” of Dawn Black the N-Dipper “Peace Advocate” [we must presume that other NDP members are NOT Peace Advocates] that made us choke on our coffee. Well, actually it was the response of her “member’s assistant” [’cause Dawn is just too busy advocating peace] So this poor assistant replied that Dawn Black would be happy to respond to these concerns about Team Canada if the Frank guy would send his full address and postal code because GET THIS “Dawn is only able to respond to her own constituents.” Now that’s funny. Better not make her a member of any Committee, Jack, because she can only deal with stuff from people in New Westminster-Coquitlam. The Conservatives must be hoping that all NDP members copy cat that line because they would hardly ever ask questions in the House then!

Guess Dawn’s reaction was similar in a way to Alexa McDonough’s, Olivia Chow’s, Bill Blaikie’s and many other NDP members who answered with complete silence. Frank Grunt was obviously disappointed in the party that as he put it “always appeared to maintain some semblance of decency. The party which appeared at least to be above cheap, casual political opportunism.”

Perhaps this hard-working and underpaid Frank reporter is so disgusted with this reporting experience that he is leaving Frank and heading for greener pastures because there is an ad at the bottom of page 26 which says:

This just in … Frank Magazine is recruiting!
Interested in working as a reporter? Less than interested in winning an Atlantic Journalism award? Then send your resume and a writing sample to FRANK WANNABE SEARCH .P.O. Box 295, Halifax, N.S. B3J 2N7 No calls, No e-mails. No interviews for anyone who ignores those first two directives. Thank you.

Who? MOI?


Comments are closed.